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2:36 a.m. - Sunday, Mar. 23, 2003 jasmine imed me today to ask me about ryans dating habits... i don't know i wasn't part of that... i was just part of it. so she doesn't trust him at all, and apologized for messing things up... i wasn't aware that she messed things up. i'm not even sure what things there was. i do know that i enjoyed having my lip bit... and the warmth... bah. shut the hell up. god. seriously, i was warned. i knew what was probably going to happen. if i was going to get hurt it was going to be my fault, but i didn't get hurt... but yeah... jasmine and i: xenolith02: i slipped and fell on my way back from this 80s club..it was rad..not the falling part xenolith02: so i gotta question emo thursday: okie dokie xenolith02: so is ryanm like a mad player??....cuz that's wat i hear and i really don't need my emotions fukt with at this point emo thursday: haha... oh he likes you now? emo thursday: yeah i guess you could say that xenolith02: i dunno....like apparently he at least likes me enough....but like i dunno whether to trust him or not..... emo thursday: he said that he really, really liked me xenolith02: really??...wat happened with that? emo thursday: hes also in love with this girl taryn in virginia emo thursday: i dunno it ended like a week or two ago, maybe three xenolith02: really......i dunno wat to think.....like apparently he was kissing u after he was kissing me or something.....and that's kinda lame xenolith02: i just don't understand why people gotta play games n shite emo thursday: did you give him a hickey? xenolith02: haha....it was an accidnet :- emo thursday: he said nate did it xenolith02: are u kidding me?? emo thursday: no xenolith02: that's fucking lame emo thursday: i saw it when we were eating at a chinese place xenolith02: i'm sorry if i fukt ur guys shit up or anything..i wasn't aware u guys had anything going on emo thursday: it doesn't matter xenolith02: and i'm actually not impressed with him at this point xenolith02: i don't think i'ma get involved...actually i think i'm dead sure i'm not emo thursday: good emo thursday: hes super smooth isn't he emo thursday: what has he said to you? xenolith02: man...like i never thought he had the capacity to be such a player..he's all cute and stuff...liek...he's something on me..cuz of bob or watever u know bob??....but like i'm paranoid that he'd just want me for sex reasons..so i said shit to him and he kept saying./...."jasmine....i'm not bob"....and like shit like that....and blah blah blah.... xenolith02: man i actually let myself like him too.... emo thursday: me too emo thursday: :- emo thursday: i really liked him emo thursday: i just let it die after i saw that hickey... xenolith02: damn prick man... emo thursday: i was grounded for two weeks so he lost interest xenolith02: i think i thouroughly dislike guys xenolith02: awww xenolith02: i'm sorry =( xenolith02: well fuck him xenolith02: if he's such a player....neither of us need his lame ass emo thursday: indeed emo thursday: plus he has taryn emo thursday: do you read his journal? xenolith02: no i don't have hte url or watever.... xenolith02: wat the fuck i'm not impressed...the last thing i seriously need is somenone fucking with my emotions....like my one and only bf did that to me..and kinda fukt me up....so i don't need some other boi doing the same emo thursday: here xenolith02: thanks...alright i really need to shower..i'[m so dirty....i hope i see u at a show again sometime soon =) xenolith02: and i'll try and dance hehe emo thursday: haha emo thursday: yay xenolith02: =) like i was saying... i enjoy the physicality involved in a relationship, but i want, no i need something a bit more. no i need a lot more. i want to be in love again. i want someone to be so thoroughly infatuated with me, and i in him that its pure bliss. the type of a relationship where is pure hell to be apart, and together. i want him to know about my annoying habits, and the things i try to hide from people and still like me. i want a male bestfriend... complete with "i love you"s falling from his lips like raindrops (like the ones i hear right now), a soft touch (sometimes), and an interest in only me. i wish i could mix a couple of my friends together, i would be content forever. yes, i want a bestfriend, that's much more than a friend. maybe someone i can bring soup to when they are sick? but i need gas money! argh.
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