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8:50 a.m. - Monday, Mar. 03, 2003 what a marvelous friday evening, what could have been moderately fun has fallen through. my mother informed me last night that if i got a note from my chemistry teacher saying that i wasn't missing anything she would take a couple days off of my groundation... so i went to my chemistry teacher after school and got a note. i come home and show it to my mother and she was pleased and said she would take off two days. "so instead of sunday it will be friday..." i wanted to say thats two weeks and a day. my groundation started on saturday, so why would it end on sunday? thats fucking ridiculous. i wanted to point that out but i held my tongue, shes so irrational sometimes. but she said audra could spend the night. and audra was going to, but the HER mom went into "rawr-rawr-rawr i'm dumb mood." now i know why people move out when they turn a certain age. heh. yeah. i'm getting my ducks in a row. i'm going to fix my grades, which i have been working on, and trying to figure out my life. lame. this word came to mind soooo many times today. i was sitting in the kitchen eating pizza, cheese pizza, and i was thinking about random things, and every single thought that came to mind was lame as hell. *sigh* jon said he thinks i'm depressed today. *weak smile*... i didn't really know what to say to that. i don't think i am, but i can't help but wonder why he said that. no, i am not depressed. i have a lot working for me right now. i have a really good chance at being happy, extrememly happy. like bliss even. i'm just tired, and lack the motivation to keep going. but i am working on changing that. thats not the only thing that i am working on changing. tomorrow i am cutting mikes hair. maybe i'll cut mine too? i wanted to grow it really long, but maybe a slight reinvention of myself will help out. not to mention a few new developments (boy, mentor, friends). yeah, life certainly is not bad. so no calling me depressed, and rob, don't worry about me. (haha, i bet you weren't expecting that... sucka)... and nico, i love you. and the black hair is sweet ass. seriously. maybe i'll become a redhead. haha. geesum, i'm getting tired, it's now 9:49, and this entry probably wont go up for a couple of days. i need sleep, ive been deprived a bit. iive also been a little ryan deprived. the last time we hung out i wasn't completely there, i guess i was worrying about my mother somehow magically finding out that i wasn't where i said i was going. but! she accused me of rebelling, and using deception. okay, yeah i can't justify actually doing those things... but i can try. =) but yeah, i wish i could see ryan right now. yeah i'm tired. but what i wouldn't give just to be near him right now. tomorrow i am going to do homework, bake some bread, and cut hair. pretty sweet. pretty sweet, indeed. my ear hurts... i'll talk about this tomorrow. i have plenty of time... i'm off to dream, and wake up late.
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