1:41 p.m. - Wednesday, Feb. 19, 2003
that cat has fat hair
i feel like im wasting away right now. i woke up at 6 this morning and stayed in bed ever mindful of times hands moving slowly towards my inevitable day. a sunrise, sunset.... i am currently babysitting. they are in the kitchen making themselves something to eat. so far i have spent my time here (i got here at 7:30) watching a movie, 10 things i hate about you, and knitting. i know, such amazingly captivating activities.... blah. i've started writing again. last night after i got off the phone with jill at midnight i stayed up and started on an essay. not for school but just for myself. i'll post it when i am done. well perhaps. i got far but i doubt it will make sence when i read it over tonight.

last night jill called me at nine thirty or so. we talked about guys, current events, philosophy, and dads... hmm. yeah. her father relations are still a mystery to me, but i know a lot more then i did. it was really nice to talk to her like that. we haven't jst sat on the phone for hours in a long time. she is one of the only people that i really care about. i could order them... but i think that might offend someone. but fuck... this is MY diary. i just remembered...

(this is friends, not parental or blood)

first and foremost:
audra,
nick,
jill,
and mikey v.

that was also excluding "love interests..." *sigh* i want to hang out with ryan soon. i want him to know me... but i have no clue on how to go about things. but i know, i can't rush things along. that would be ridiculous.

but so am i. *sigh* but things aren't bad right now. i am for the most part happy. just a few things wearing on me. like my mother, but thats always there. always...

i should get back to my knitting. these kids are really really cool. its like im hanging out with them not babysitting. and shes reading what i'm writing so i am done...

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