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9:23 p.m. - Saturday, Feb. 08, 2003 "i finflay relized that i probably have fealingings for someone. can't say, so that emans kara was justa crush, which is cool too..." just ignore the typos, but "kara was justa crush" that makes me feel better about things. i hate the idea of unrequeited love... ive experienced it in the worst way possible. so i would never wish that on to someone else. and especially when it's me. today seemed like a series of waste. i woke up at 7 or 8. and waited to go online to tell ryan i was grounded. i didn't get on until 1, and he wasn't on... *frown* so i read brutal for a while. and i knit some more of kyles scarf. haha. yeah, i am horrible at knitting. i redesigned the burning july site completely in a couple of hours. so that brings me to.. eh, i don't even know what time. but i talked to audra for a while, talked to nick. then a little before the show started i talked to ryan. *sigh*. hmmph. yeah. i did a lot of asskissing today all for nothing. i did my mom's laundry even. fuck a duck. haha. i bet that sounded mature. oh! yeah!... my mom got my report card today, this is why i was so hopeful. she came up to my room to commend me on a job well done. i thought that alone would get me off groundation considering thats why im grounded anyway. but alas, here i am, grounded. i really wanted to see ryan today. maybe just maybe, he'll call me or something when he is still in augusta and he can stop by and see me. that would rule. i don't know why i didn't tell him that idea earlier. silly me. silly, silly me. i'm going to go paint for a bit.
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